The Age of the Ring

Home Help Search Map . Login Register  
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
August 22, 2019, 07:47:29 PM

Login with username, password and session length
Calendar
August 2019
SuMoTuWeThFrSa
123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031

Today in Middle Earth
They come to Isengard; they take leave of the King of the West at sunset (3019), Richard Armitage's birthday

Birthdays Today
Kirsty (34)
Pages: [1]   Go Down
Print
Author Topic: My poems  (Read 2430 times)
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
Dan
Legendary
***

Mushrooms 0
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 811


Nobodys perfect, look at me!


« on: January 09, 2007, 01:58:02 AM »

hmmm, wrote this about just over a month after something happened and befor soniaaaaa

the name of the poem is  "up on a cloud" and there will be more to come, annnd sorry in advance for the bad ending which doesnt rhyme.

feedback is much appreciated
best to read it outloud
enjoy



Up on the cloud
They are so high . . .
Not knowing what can pass them by

My oh my
They donít know why
Why everything has to eventually die

Hopes and dreams fade away
Away they go . . .
Oh so slow

They watch as the scars of our past
Forever live and will always last
From our mistakes we try to learn
But forever we crash and will always burn

Glancing at us they silently talk
While we swiftly move and slowly walk

In the shadows we silently hide
With the knife grasped by our side

Take one last breath . . .
We prepare for death

With one swift slice
The body dies

Away we go
To finally know
What lies beyond this silent Joe

But we awake again
At half past ten

To re-live the scars of our past
Hoping one day to die
eventually at last.
Logged

In AmericEar
Naugrim
Mythical
****

Mushrooms 0
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 3186


So you're taller than Ear by a Nose


« Reply #1 on: January 13, 2007, 07:01:02 PM »

Wow thats really good!

Plus I dont blame you for the last verse, our teachers always tell us that its hard to rhyme!

Thats really good well done!

I cant rhyme for my life Tongue
Logged

THE FAT CONTROLLER!!!!!!!!!!!



TRY HARD AND WIN, AND IF YOU DON'T WIN, TRY HARDER!!!
Dan
Legendary
***

Mushrooms 0
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 811


Nobodys perfect, look at me!


« Reply #2 on: January 13, 2007, 08:48:58 PM »

thank youuuu

Grin

thinksing about it the last verse did rhyme becasue its the 1st and 3rd line.
but comparing to the rest wheres its the lines rhyme with the previous its hd to notice the alst one.

but yeah tis a good one

thanks again Smiley
Logged

Pages: [1]   Go Up
Print
Jump to:  

Recent
by EG
[August 02, 2019, 09:32:56 PM]

by EG
[August 02, 2019, 09:19:28 PM]

by EG
[August 02, 2019, 09:16:04 PM]

[January 28, 2015, 03:34:48 AM]

[January 27, 2015, 03:45:41 AM]

[January 23, 2015, 01:28:19 AM]

[January 23, 2015, 01:25:44 AM]

[January 23, 2015, 01:24:34 AM]

[January 20, 2015, 08:36:37 PM]

[January 18, 2015, 03:42:30 AM]
Members
Total Members: 701
Latest: MarionProf
Stats
Total Posts: 111850
Total Topics: 1381
Online Today: 41
Online Ever: 245
(June 16, 2007, 09:42:41 AM)
Users Online
Users: 0
Guests: 20
Total: 20


This site is maintained and updated by fans of The Lord of the Rings, and is in no way affiliated with Tolkien Enterprises or the Tolkien Estate. Copyrights and trademarks for the books, films, articles, and other promotional materials are held by their respective owners and their use is allowed under the Fair Use Clause of the Copyright Law.

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2015, Simple Machines
TinyPortal v0.9.7 © Bloc
Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!
Page created in 0.05 seconds with 29 queries.