Teenage Pregnancy

[The NOT So Magical Elf]

Some dads, no matter how menatally unstable they are, stick around. My cousin ggot pregnant when she was sixteen and her baby is now three months old. The father of the child, is 22, and no matter how badly my family and i think of him, he sticks around and takes care of his child. While we dont like him, we still respect him for being a father to Hailey.

y do u h8 him?
if he has the balls to stick it out (for his, as u see it mistakes) maB he aint so bad??
but idunno coz i dont kno !   

[Shadowfax]

I have two friends, one had a kid at 15, one had a kid at 16/17 (i forget which).

The one who had it at fifteen is genuinely a really nice person but shes lazy, thick as sh*t and doesnt have a maternal bone in her body and you can see that child at five start to go wrong already.  Tenner says hes having his own kid by eleven.

The other one is acutally a really intelligent girl, i met her doing english a level, i dont know how she manages to spend time with her child and do her work, and i think she shows a lot of promise seeing how devoted she is to her child.

Its totally dependent on situation, but most of the time  the kids will grow up to meet the other kids on the council estate, and then those kids will spawn others at 14 and live on the same council estate until they all end up bluuuuue

[*‡‡ T ï f a ‡‡*]

...and able to do the 12 times table on their fingers..

[Precious]

Sex education in this area is nowhere near up to scratch. You are educated about the biological side to sex - but nothing whatsoever as to the physical and emotional aspects. It's all well and good saying "If a sperm comes pentrates an egg it will be fertilised", but this does NOTHING whatsoever in terms of preparing you for the peer pressure, process itself and consequences.

The peer pressure for teenagers to be sexually active is immense. As much as I'd like to say i was strong enough to be my own person and resist, I wasn't - and made the mistake of having sex when I wasn't ready for it and caused myself a lot of hurt. However, since then, I've become more mature and have been in a happy, but sexually active relationship. I may only be a teen myself, but I'm sensible enough to take precautions - and would never put myself in a situation that would increase the risk of getting pregnant.

As for teenage mothers...although I have heard many "happy" accounts of teenage mothers - I don't approve of it at all. If you have unprotected sex, there is the morning after pill for 3 days afterwards, and then up to nine weeks after that the abortion pill - and then a further 5weeks for a surgical abortion - and so an accidental pregnancy is no excuse in my eyes. Although some disagree with abortion (personally I am all for it, if I were pregnant I have no doubts in my mind I would go ahead with an abortion), it's the only acceptable route in my opinion. How on earth a girl who is not yet mature, who does not know herself, is financially unstable, emotionally unstable and does not yet understand fully the world in which she lives in expects to raise a child herself and teach it that which she does not even know for herself yet...it's simply ludicrous.

Children at a young age mean reducing the chance of financial success, which therefore means it will be harder to provide for their child - thus restricting the child's chances of success later in life (agreed, there is a minority which does succeed still). It's a huge strain also for the mother - as a teen, girl's are unstable enough - and the addition of the stress of a child, along with post natal depression is ,I'm sure, more likely to push a teenager mother over the age than an older mother.

If you get pregnant, there are plenty of options available. Keeping the child is, in a lot of cases, a selfish act - not wanting to face the guilt or judgement of having an abortion - and instead prefer to bring a child into a world where it will most likely never have the stable background required to allow it to achieve it's full potential in life.

I understand my views may be strongly disagreed with by some, but everyone is entitled to their own opinon.

[Rosie Cotton]

My mother had me when she was only seventeen
Therefor my thoughts on the matter are biased.

[leafi]

i fell pregnant at 18 and had my little girl his year in april it wasnt planned , i was on the pill but some how got caught out . i chose to have the child because i didnt feel i could cope with emotional distress of having an abortion. i do live in a housing association property and do get child tax credits but i work 6 days a week and my partner (her dad) 5 days so we can support ourselves with out benefits while making sure emily can have all she needs. it makes me sick to see teenage mums who sit wasting the benefits on fags and booze while being to lazy to work. i dont agree with young girls falling pregnant and abusing the benefits system but as long as they work to support them selves and ther children then at least it shows theyve takenn responsibilitie for there actions

[Icy]

My mother had me when she was only seventeen
Therefor my thoughts on the matter are biased.

My Mum was 16 when she had my Brother, and I still think its wrong for Teenagers to have children.  Until they're 18 (like you leafi) I don't think people know what they're doing.

When your 18, you know if having a child is right or not, or whether an abortion is right.

[leafi]

this is very true its just a shame there doesnt seem to be a way to stop it from happening you can tell a tennager that un protected sex equals pregnancy until your blue in the face but they will do it any way. tis such a shame , were losing a whole generatioon of possable professionals to the sudden teenage baby boom.

[Jim]

Even with protected sex though the church are still going to fight to the death to do away with it, so theres still a struggle to get more information out there without alter lickers running the show.

[chaos_in_middle_earth]

I didn't read all of the posts in this thread because I would most likely find something to say to each one.

Instead, I am just going to put in my opinions, based upon my experiences, and leave it at that.

I had my daughter at 16 years old.  I don't blame my parents for not raising me properly (which any "professional" could tell you that they didn't), I don't blame the school's for not providing enough sexual education classes, nor do I blame the government for not having stricter laws about such things.

My daughter has not suffered because of the age at which I had her.  And I wouldn't say that I have suffered for having her at such a young age, either.  I made the best of it and have always done the best that I could for her.  She has never been without the basics and she has always had plenty of the extras, all without government help. 

Knowing what I know now, I believe that the best course of action to prevent more young teens from being pregnant and spreading STD's is education and prevention.  They need to be taught about these things, by the school AND by their parents, and at an earlier age than what they already do it.  When you have 12 year old girls ending up pregnant, it's obviously too late to make them take sex ed classes when they're 13 years old.  As the majority of youths these days will admit, the more they're told not to do something, the more they'll do it.  Parents cannot stop them from having sex if they choose to do so. 

My suggestion is to teach the children young, and keep an open relationship with them.  When you find out that they are having sex, express to them that you are unhappy about their decision, that you would rather they stop and wait until they're older and say anything else that you feel you most in order to express your general opinion about things.  This way they know that you don't think it's OK for them to be doing it.  BUT, since you know that they will most likely continue to do it, then equip them with what they need to practice safe sex: condoms and birth control. 

Does it condone sex at an early age?  Not if you make sure they understand your position on it.  But as a parent, it is your job to take care of your child, even if that means doing something you'd rather not do. 

Yes, this is what I plan to do with my daughter.  She will be 8 years old soon and I plan on having the "facts of live" conversation with her shortly after her birthday.  I wish for her to know things so that way she can make informed decisions about sex without being curious about the mystery that surrounds it when parents don't talk to their children.  I'd rather know that she is practicing safe sex if I can't stop her from having it altogther.

Also, before anybody points it out, I do plan to express to her the importance of waiting.  I'm not going to say "I know you're going to have sex even if I tell you not to, so tell me before you do so that I can make sure you have what you need to be safe."  I will stress the benefits of waiting until she's older.  I will make it plain and clear that is my wish for her.  But I also don't want to give her the impression that I will no longer love her if she disobeys me. 

[Vårn]

ahhh, so many very valid points, post's and ide'as here.

has anyone but me noticed that the male input in this topic seems to be limited to a few lines and half an opinion? 

[Rwar]

My mother had me when she was only seventeen
Therefor my thoughts on the matter are biased.

My Mum was 16 when she had my Brother, and I still think its wrong for Teenagers to have children.  Until they're 18 (like you leafi) I don't think people know what they're doing.

When your 18, you know if having a child is right or not, or whether an abortion is right.

I agree, Icy. By the time your eighteen you know whether your in the right situation mentally, phyically and money-wise to cope with it. I think if you want to have a child at eighteen then that's up to you, it's your decision and your right. Although, you have to think about the aftermath, where you'll live, where you'll work how the baby will be looked after and such.

But as I say, it's up to you, not the goverment or your parent's to decide.

[chaos_in_middle_earth]

ahhh, so many very valid points, post's and ide'as here.

has anyone but me noticed that the male input in this topic seems to be limited to a few lines and half an opinion? 

I think that it would be interesting to see the input of more males on this topic.

My mother had me when she was only seventeen
Therefor my thoughts on the matter are biased.

My Mum was 16 when she had my Brother, and I still think its wrong for Teenagers to have children.  Until they're 18 (like you leafi) I don't think people know what they're doing.

When your 18, you know if having a child is right or not, or whether an abortion is right.

I agree, Icy. By the time your eighteen you know whether your in the right situation mentally, phyically and money-wise to cope with it. I think if you want to have a child at eighteen then that's up to you, it's your decision and your right. Although, you have to think about the aftermath, where you'll live, where you'll work how the baby will be looked after and such.

But as I say, it's up to you, not the goverment or your parent's to decide.

No, it shouldn't be up to the government to decide or your parents to decide.  But if you're so young that your parents will end up caring for the child, as well as supporting it, then they should have at least a small say so in things, but it will ultimately be your decision.

As for the age factor, I do believe that is debatable.  There are a lot of 18 year olds that are no where near mature enough to care for a child yet there are 16 year olds that are more than mature enough.  I believe it all depends upon the person.

[Rwar]

Yeah, that's very true, a lot of people at eighteen, have no idea about maturity, or are mature themselves.
I would never get pregnant at a young age, personally I don't think I could cope, even at eighteen, I don't have the financial and am not ready yet to deal with such responsibilities.

I think your right, I think that if you get pregnant before the age of sixteen then your parents should have a say in it but it is ultimately your choice.

[Sad]

I'm 17 and pregnant right now. Getting pregnant was my own choice and i am very happy. Granted, we dont have a lot of money, but we have lots of love and supportive families. I dont expect to sponge off the government, and the baby comes first.

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