The Age of the Ring (Lord of the Rings) Forum
Off Topic Section => World Events => Topic started by: Elfy on March 15, 2005, 05:04:47 PM
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I'm thinking maybe this should be in the debates board but I'd realy like to know everyone's opinions on this :)
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I'm saying what a very special person told me, that age isn't (or shouldn't be) a decisive factor in relationships, but the love the two have for one another. I know that many people place a lot of stress on the age difference between the partners...but I think that if the difference isn't like 30 years or so, it should be secondary.
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When the love is real-the ages dosen't matter-if the diference is not so big like 30years.This is my opinion! :)
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I'm asking basically cos the guy I think I'm kinda with now is 39, and I'm 22 :-\
But we're both adults, and it doesnt matter to either of us.
Carry on though, I'm interested to know what people think. And please be honest. Brutally honest if you want :P
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What matters is do the two people involved get on. Do they talk to each other. Do they respect each other seperate interests not just the shared ones. Is it a partnership rather than a master servant sort of thing.
If the answer is yes to the above then I can't see a problem if there are any nos then there could be.
Lessa
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Age definitely doesn't matter to me if you really love that person even if they're 35 years older than you. :)
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Age definitely doesn't matter to me if you really love that person even if they're 35 years older than you. :)
yeah, it doesn't matter now, but it's bound to matter later when you are still a young woman and he'll be a really old man...that is, if he's still alive. I know that what I'm saying is pretty cruel, but you can't deny it can well be the case when the difference is greater than 30 years.
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I can see how hard it would be in a way, when the older one dies... The younger one has a long time left, possibly alone. That would be the problem I would have, I think... especially if you really did love them. :o
Sorry I am being morbid again. (sigh) Ill stop now... :[
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It's only when one person isn't an adult that it becomes a bit of an issue i think
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I can see how hard it would be in a way, when the older one dies... The younger one has a long time left, possibly alone. That would be the problem I would have, I think... especially if you really did love them. :o
Sorry I am being morbid again. (sigh) Ill stop now... :[
But you could say that with couples of the same age..........one could be run over by a bus tomorrow.
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yeah, but it's also a question of fate as compared to probability. we could all die by some tragic accident, but some things in life are certain, for instance that in an ideal situation(no accidents, no diseases) the younger WILL outlive by far the older one.
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As long as it is not say, an adult and a minor, then age is just a number, if it's real love, then it should conquer all boundaries. :P
But I did read this article recently about an American teacher who was about 35 when she had sex with her 12 year old pupil!! :o I find that disgraceful..she went to prison for it and now she is out, he is 22 and they are planning to get married, so it must have been love, but that still doesn't justify what she did, in my opinion it's wrong!
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Yeah, when its someone quite old with a minor its weird, because when theyre that young then it could be taking advantage. But I think when you get to even 15 you're capable of making a descision depending on your maturity.
As I told you on msn Elfy hun, its your choice and you're mature and responsible enough to make your own choices - you have my support, as i said.
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Originally I would say its only the love that counts but really say the man is 30 years older (Brother knows a girl going out with a man 30 years older) And you have kids. theyll lose their father at a highly young age, which, in my opinion isnt fair on the child growing up without a father.
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aye, but isn't it better to have a loving father for a while, whereas if the parents didn't love one another they would just break up or stay together for the kids so the kid wouldn't have a good family life anyways, if you get what I mean.. :wacko:
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Personally I'm not bothered about people who are involved in age-gap relationships. I believe that if the couple involved in an age-gap relationship are happy and respect each other, love each other etc then that is fine and it is their life and they should be able to live their lives happily and free of prejudice.
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Well...it depends...there's this 50 years old guy who is after me...19 and 50 is defenately too much of an age gap :dry: Grrrrr...I hate him >(
Whatever...when you're older an age gap matters not as much as for young people...for example 14 and 24 is probably more problematic than 24 and 34 :P
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I think it depends on the situation but I also believe that as long as you love each other, age doesnt really matter...unless it starts to affect things of course but y'know....lol ::) But it isnt wrong if there is a big age gap :)
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okay guys, I moved this to World Events since it's somewhat debatable.
Right. Age gaps in relationships, eh? Well here's something for you to think about. My mother and step dad have been married now (happily, may I add), for 17 years, and there is a 17 year age gap between them both. Mum was 29, I think, when she married Keine (my step dad), and it's the happiest she's ever been. Also, my sister whom is 28 has been in a long-term relationship with a man in his late thirties (methinks he's 38), hence basically a 10-year gap between them, and they're soon to be married.
However, I do not agree with relationships such as a 15-year-old dating a 30-year-old... I mean, even though there's a smaller gap between them then that of my parents, it's still considered to be rather, well, sick (somewhat like paedophilia). I guess once a person is at a 'legal' age, though (usually 21), it is more accepted. Though a 30 year gap or something to that extent is just plain disgusting to me :-\
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I am worried as I've got to tell my mum tonight.........I realised it wouldn't be right to keep it from her. And Neil is an amazing guy, not like anyone I've ever met before, he's a real gentleman.
Not many people know about us yet (its only been 2 days :P ) but my friend who knows is really happy for us, whereas my ex said it's disgusting and said Neil must be an old pervert >( Hint of jealousy there though methinks........
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I'm really happy for you Elfy! The age difference between you isn't that big with you being the age you are.... I'm sure your mum will be happy that you're happy (my mum is happy that I'm happy now I'm seeing this lad) and ignore your ex, he sounds a bit jealous and bitter to be honest
I don't have a problem with age differences unless it's a teenager going out with somepne in their thirties coz it seems so much bigger then. It's ok when you're 15 going out with a 17 year old coz a two year age gap is quite common in the teens I have noticed. I think it's wrong when a young woman (such as 25) is going out with an 80 year old man, that's is when it gets sick.
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I say what's the big deal?!
If you love someone what should the age mean? Two people can't help how they feel for each other and it's not exactly rocket science to know when two people are really in love! ::)
Let them be together if it's what they both want! :)
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hehe rocket science! :laugh:...lol yeah but I do agree with what Amy's saying :)
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I think that if you love someone age should not matter. However, there are some age gaps that are just too huge. For example 30 year olds who date 80 year olds or even older men...
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it's not exactly rocket science
I know this is completely pointless and off topic but can I point out that rocket science is very simple. If you have a push force greater than the force of gravity the rocket goes up, easy peasy. Brain surgery on the other hand is very complicated...But anyway I'll shut up now x(
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Yey I'm really happy that you've found happiness! I hope things work out for you good this time :D my loveable wifey...who could resist you? :-*
Anyway...I've never been in a relationship which has had much difference in age. Usually a year or so and that's about it really. And I've usually been the older one ::) I can never seem to find a guy that is OLDER than myself ??? Do they just not exist?
I don't think age gap relationships should be a problem. If both people in the relationship are mature and everything, then why not? I think if one of them is like 13 or something and the other is 30, then thats when it matters. Chances that the 13 year old is mature if very slim and the 30 year old is probably just perverted :-\
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It's only when one person isn't an adult that it becomes a bit of an issue i think
I totally agree with you andone!!!
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Methinks andone summed it up precisely, actually. (Great minds think alike ;) ..but fools never differ :-\ ::) )
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I see absolutley no harm in couples which have abig age gap.Two of my best friends boyfriends are nearly ten years older than them, and i have never seen them so happy. What is the problem with age, if it makes a person so happy. If they are happy then there is nothing wrong, thats what i think anyway. The only way i see it as a problem, is if one person is REALLY young, say like 14/15, because they arent grown up enough and arent looking for the same kindof relationship a person in there late 20s is. Does what i said make any sence to anyone?
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It makes perfect sense Goldberry, thanks. :)
When I started this topic, to be honest I was expecting a lot of negative reactions. It's fantastic that you're all such open-minded, wonderful people.
*group hug*
I'll sotp spamming now and let you get back on topic ::)
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No matter how much difference there is in age, and i mean, if there was 50 years, it wouldn't make any difference, as love is still the strongest thing in this world.
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Awww Spikie you're so right *hugs*
If its true, genuine love, then nothing is a barrier.
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so many people think like that, yet so many people let age get in the way of their happiness and that of those whom they love...
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Age shouldn't matter. To me it's just a number. Just a number on a piece of paper. I don't care whether the guy is older or younger than me at all. It's the personality and the relationship between you both that matters.
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and I agree, as I agree with tearing down all obstacles that stand in the way of true love. too bad there are still people who are so against their children, for instance, going out with someone a little older...
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Yeah, I've been out with a guy who was 4 years older than me. And a guy ( not at the same time ) about 2 year's younger. I still loved them alot. When I was with them. Their age didn't worry or matter to me.
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that kind of a difference is totally acceptable (let me tell you a secret: most guys grow up slower than girls, so if the guy was biologically four years older, that meant he was mentally kinda your age!!!)
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Yeah, he definately was mentally my age. Fricking used me ::) Anyways, I'm much happier now :P Totally over him and everything :dry: But I do totally agree, guys do grow up slower.. ::)
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good. is your love life happy as it was when we last spoke?
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Yeah.. Blissfully happy :P How about you? *Hugs*
I believe that relationships should be based on friendship, because you get to know eachother and age shouldn't matter... Look at Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas! :dry:
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My sister thinks its hilarious to compare me and my bf to Catherine ZJ and Michael Douglas :dry: ::)
Age does matter to me a way, in that I would not go out with a man my age. I've been there, done it, got the broken heart and I'm not going to make the same mistake again. Older men are much more mature, they know what they want and they keep their brains in the right place.
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My sister is 15 and she is going out with someone who is 22
I am 18 going out with someone who is 15 nearly 16
My mum is a year older than my dad
My nan was 15 years younger than my grandad
My other nan was 10 years younger than my other grandad
I dont really mind it. As long as it isnt like a 14 year old going with a like 30 summat..that just scary. But I think when your out of school and around 18-19 the age gap thing dont really matter
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Yeah, I totally agree with you there, Pippy. As long as it's not something like, a 30 year old going out with a 14 year old. Then I think that's fine. 30 year old with a 14 year old.. I'm sorry but that's wrong, one is twice as old as the other and besides, what would they have in common?
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older guys are so much more mature.....not tooo old mind u...once went out with a dood who was younger than me....not going there again!.....but i am a sweet 16 year old girl....maybe older men won't be so appealing later on in my life ;D ....but yeah....age gaps shouldn't be a problem....it's just that in a lot of age gap relationships there are alternative motives rather than just the love they feel and what have you...for example...gold digger...cradle snatcher...pedofilia hee hee chammon!
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maybe the idea will seem appealing to you later in life too. you too will get more mature and you'll want someone who can keep up with your spiritual and emotional development. and that soemone may well be an older guy. You'll choose him not because it's kool to date someone older, but because it's annoying to date someone your age or even younger.
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I'm not bothered about age gaps! I met my current b/f when I was 15 and he was 21. No-one really had a problem with it. I'm nearly 18 and my b/fs nearly 24.
I think another factor is how old you are 15 and 21 sounds bad but when i'm 20 he'll be 26 and that doesn't sound as bad.
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I'm not bothered about age gaps! I met my current b/f when I was 15 and he was 21. No-one really had a problem with it. I'm nearly 18 and my b/fs nearly 24.
I think another factor is how old you are 15 and 21 sounds bad but when i'm 20 he'll be 26 and that doesn't sound as bad.
oh yeah!!! 20 and 26 sounds so good! the most important thing is that you're happy together...
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How does 23 and 40 sound?
I'll be 23 in July and my bf's 40 in September ;D
But as he said, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. It's between the 2 of us and as long as we love each other that's all that matters. :wub:
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as I said before, Elfy, I'm very happy for you and with you. I couldn't handle such a big difference, but if it's ok with you both then thing are as they should be.
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But as he said, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. It's between the 2 of us and as long as we love each other that's all that matters. :wub:
Exactly, he's exactly right, who cares what anyone says as long as you are happy with it, then it doesnt matter!
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i don't really see why some people have a problem with age-gap relationships....it's the same as any other relationship....personally i wouldn't have a problem if i went out with an older guy....say a 41 year old man for example... *cough* johnny depp *cough* ;D
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I think it's more of a thing about an older man apparently being some sort of pervert...........I know me and my bf have had some funny looks, cos although I'm 22 I look a few years younger. But as long as both parties in the relationship are adults, it doesn't make a difference.
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It's all down to the people in the relationship. I mean....I'm 19 yeah? I wouldn't ever go out with anyone who was 5 years older than me, or 2 years younger than me. I just feel uncomfortable...you know with maturity and immaturity.
I admit, I am still very young at heart. I don't feel 19 (coming on 20). I feel like I'm 17 or something, with extra responsibilities chucked on me at the same time. I want to be with a guy who is of a similar age, so hopefully we have similar interests. I mean, my main interest is music, and I hope to god that the next guy I meet has the same music taste as me (EMO KID!!!!!) :D
If both people are mature (or immature...), then it's up to them. Of course, a 14 year old and a 40 year old...that's a bit wrong because there won't be very much maturity on the 14 year olds side, and the 40 year old would probably be a pervert.
So yeah...age is just a number and a number is nothing.
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well i got married when i was only 16 and still at school and my husband was 29 and that was quite a big gap especially with me being so young. anyway we divorced when i was 17 i just wasn't ready for marraige.
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I personally think you should be aloud to love whoever it is and age shouldn't play a factor in it ;). If your 20 and fall in love with a person thats 70, who cares, as long as you love each other.
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I agree completely.... as long as you're in the relationship for all the right reasons (love, etc) and not for alternative motives (gold-digging, peadophilia) then what is the problem.... people just have the problem with age gap relationships because there are some cases where there are alternative motives.... which is just daft to base all age gap relationships on those select few
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Yeah, I mean, if you feel it's right, then go for it. All the relationships I've been in, they've either been older or younger.
My current relationship is a year younger. And he's so sweet and caring, but it's early day's, the oldest relationship I've had is when the guy was 23. But he used me.
I'm used to the man/boy being younger. And me being younger or older. I don't know why but I prefer being younger than the guy, but the guy has to be like 2 or 3 year's, not 6.
Age shouldn't matter, and to me it doesn't. It's just a number on a piece of paper.
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I'm glad that you're in a relationship that's good for you. No matter if he's younger or older...
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Thankyou Morganne. Yeah, well, I've only been in love once or twice. And I think I've met the one already, but we'll see I guess. I feel so much more positive than I did a week ago.
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It's all down to the people in the relationship. I mean....I'm 19 yeah? I wouldn't ever go out with anyone who was 5 years older than me, or 2 years younger than me. I just feel uncomfortable...you know with maturity and immaturity.
I admit, I am still very young at heart. I don't feel 19 (coming on 20). I feel like I'm 17 or something, with extra responsibilities chucked on me at the same time. I want to be with a guy who is of a similar age, so hopefully we have similar interests. I mean, my main interest is music, and I hope to god that the next guy I meet has the same music taste as me (EMO KID!!!!!) :D
If both people are mature (or immature...), then it's up to them. Of course, a 14 year old and a 40 year old...that's a bit wrong because there won't be very much maturity on the 14 year olds side, and the 40 year old would probably be a pervert.
So yeah...age is just a number and a number is nothing.
i agree with ya :)
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I dont mind about age gaps, i'm all for it, age should never matter. What you have to consider at 15 you know more than you're 14 and at 16 you know more than you're 15. In your teenage years even till 19 I think relationships is a big learning curve, even to your twenties sometimes. When people put into context the age difference by saying well when i was 10 he/she was 16, yeah society says that's sick (and it is), but when i'm 20 and he/she is 26 it seems ok! Well you know more at that age than you do when you're 10! As you get older the wiser you get you'll always know more and reflect on mistakes/experiences when your older. Myself... I like older ladies sure!! I'm not shy to admit, i'm, 23 and when people talk about respect for each other how much is blinded by lust? It's a powerful thing!! There comes a point (and usually this is is a far while into the relationship when age is a concern) where things suddenly fit into place and you know within yourselves that it's right! The first couple pf years though i'm convinced is blinded by pure lust of the excitement of such an age gap!
I may be wrong but my experiences have given m the impression that this is what is and in twelve months time I would expect this to have changed as well! As we grow older so does societies opions and views, and what is socially acceptable! It's all swings and roundabouts!
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Honestly if I hear another Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones joke............... ::)
Seriously though, it seems to me like its fine for them to have a 25 year age gap cos they're celebrities. I'm still getting hassle (most of it luckily is joking) about being with a man 17 years my senior. Seems its the first thing people pick on about us, they call my bf 'old man', I mean since when was 39 old?
I'm lucky in that 95% of people seem fine with us (not that I care if people have a problem with it) but the number of raised eyebrows I've had when I've said how old he is..............doesn't make sense to me. It's crazy.
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My friend at school is currently in an age gap relationship. She's 16 and her
boyfriend is 21. My friends and I are really happy for them both because they
really love each other and have known each other for ages, before they got
together. Her parents aren't too happy about it, her step dad especially. I think
it's because she's still in school and he's an adult.
Yeah she might not be an adult but my friend certainly acts like one.
Personally, I think my mate is mature enough to handle a relationship like this.
They have had some hassle about it from people in school but that's because half
of them are jealous. Some people have been spreading malicious rumours about her
boyfriend too saying things like he's a perv when he isn't as I've known him for years
and he is one of the nicest people about.
My sister is in an age gap relationship too. She's 19 and her boyfriend is 24/25.
I don't find anything wrong with age gaps at all. I know many people who are in
age gap relationships. I think the most important thing in a relationship is the fact
that the two people involved are really happy being with each other, they love each other
and respect each other. Why should age matter?
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I agree with Zhangy. I think people who are young - i.e. 15 etc, can be as mature as a 25 year old. Just because your young and your age is younger than other's, doesn't mean your not as mature or as sensible as people older than you.
I was with a guy whose 23. I was 17 ( still am ). And it didn't work out. Anyway, it doesn't matter how old you are, your in love. So really age is just a number, and it doesn't matter.
You can't help who you fall in love with. It comes to that, and age is just a number.
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All this discussion reminds me of a joke.
A cop is cruising his territory after 11 pm one night. He drives around a building and in the dark behind it, sees a car parked with two occupants in it. He gets out of his car with his cop flashlight and approaches the vehicle. Shining the light inside, he sees a young man in the front seat and a young woman in the rear. He motions the man to open the window.
"Alright," says the cop. "What are you two doing here?"
"Well sir," says the young man, "I'm working on a crossword puzzle."
The cop looks down, and sure enough, there's a half-finished crossword puzzle in the man's lap.
"OK," says the officer, "But what about the girl in the back seat?"
"I'm just knitting a scarf for my granny," says the young woman, and holds up her knitting as evidence.
The cop knows that something isn't right here.
"How old are you?" he asks the man.
"I'm 20, sir," replies the guy in the front seat.
"And how old is your friend?"
The young man looks at his watch, then answers.
"In about 15 minutes, she'll be 18!"
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Oh my god, that's hilarious! I love it! :P *Giggles*
I think that age, as I said before shouldn't matter. It's how you feel that counts. And how they feel for you.
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My friend who I was talking about in my last post has recently moved out of her parent's house. I can't say why exactly but I know that it's because they've been going on at her about her boyfriend and forcing her to end the relationship which I think is unfair. I am happy for her because she's happy but I'm worried that her relationship with her current boyfriend won't work out and he throws her out of his flat and she has nowhere to go.
Age relationships can work if the couple make it work and they don't let people who disapprove bother them.
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Perhaps her parent's will let her move back in again if that does happen? :ph34r:
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EVERYTHING Zhang has said relates to my life... ::)
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Lol Gilly, so are my posts useful then or no? ::)
Pollz, I really don't know. I can't dwell on her life too much nor express my opinion about it too much because I'm not in the situation which means I probably don't know how my friend feels about this. I hope that their relationship works out and if it doesn't, then I hope nothing bad happens. Sometimes, age-gap relationships can work but sometimes they can turn ugly and it leaves a lot of people hurt etc.
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I agree with Zhangy. I think people who are young - i.e. 15 etc, can be as mature as a 25 year old. Just because your young and your age is younger than other's, doesn't mean your not as mature or as sensible as people older than you.
I was with a guy whose 23. I was 17 ( still am ). And it didn't work out. Anyway, it doesn't matter how old you are, your in love. So really age is just a number, and it doesn't matter.
You can't help who you fall in love with. It comes to that, and age is just a number.
they might well be mature... but they certainly havent the wisdom and experience.... only age and living life for those extra years gives you that
In your teenage years, you spend much time experiementing and learning.. which is why age gaps are bigger, than when you get older.
Theres no subsitute for experience :-\
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I've noticed lots of people are saying that age doesn't matter, as long as you're in love.
True, I agree, in some cases.
My brother's girlfriend's sister is pregnant to a 47 year-old and she's only 15. That's just wrong in my opinion. He was arrested yesterday.
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Yeah, I agree with what you said Ury.
Although I do not think that age matters but if the other half
is under the age of sexual consent then I do think that's a bit
dodgy and could cause even more trouble for the relationship.
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I've noticed lots of people are saying that age doesn't matter, as long as you're in love.
True, I agree, in some cases.
My brother's girlfriend's sister is pregnant to a 47 year-old and she's only 15. That's just wrong in my opinion. He was arrested yesterday.
That is truly sick. He needs to be locked up for kids safety.
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seconded.
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Some age gaps are ok but others arent, it all depends on the people
for example i am 18 and i really fancy a 16 year old, yet a 15 year old work experience student at my work fancies me,
i would happily go out with the 16 year old as she acts older than she is plus she is 'legal' yet i wouldnt with the 15 year old as she doesnt act it at all and is still under the age of consent
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Yeah, I know what you mean, Kamui.. I've been out with a 15 yr old and I was 17.. He was more mature than others thought. And yeah I loved him.. But I've also been with a 21 year old and that SO didn't work out, because of the way he was, so immature and pathetic and slimy.
As long as you really like the person, it's all that matters. I mean, if you barely like them, what's the point? But anyway, age doesn't matter. It's just a number.
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The after-effects of love suck, cos I was in love with someone 18 months ago and he walked away... now I would like to set a snarling dog on him should I see him again... ::)
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Lol. I bet you would. That's what I would do.
That's what I would've done like a year ago. But that's not me, really. I just forgive those who hurt me. Or whatever.
I really really like a guy whose much older than me, and all my friends have said if I love him that's all that matter's,
he said he loves me, and he does. But it's way too complicated. Plus there's a lot of distance.. :dry: Gah, my love life
is always complicated ::) Dangit.
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I think age gap relationships can be a good thing sometimes. If the people fall in love it shouldn't matter, love has no boundries. I mean if a teenager falls in love with a 30 year old, people shouln't care. If it's for love then people shouln't care ;). If it's for money or something then yeah, I care, but if it's for love then nobody should interfear with it, people should actually fell happy that the found each other ;).
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my cousin is in an age gap relationship, she is 16 and her boyfriend is 22..her father isnt to happy woth it but they seem to love each other...my friends mom and stepdad are 11 years apart and fight constantly but still
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I think age gap relationships can work. As long as your happy with eachother and get along then it'd be fine.
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I am with a 16 year old ::)
Have been for errrr.....10 months...
Say what you wish people ::) :P
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::) *Won't say anything* :P
So have I. Age doesn't matter. Should not matter. It's the relationship that counts. Not the age. The real value of the relationship is whether you connect, you get on. Nothing else. Age is just a number. I am with a sixteen year old aswell. But I don't care about age. Never have, whether I get on with the person is what matter's most.
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i've bin in a few age gap relation ships, ??? :[
i didnt really see the big deal at the time.. im 18 and was going out with a 15yr old (nearyl 16), but we loved each other :wub: . her friends made my life hell, i got h8 mail, and even arrested 4stuff tha accused me of doin. she testified in court. then all that crap stopped..
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:8o wow i don't remeber the court thing lol. *pats Gav on the shoulder* the drinks arrest was funny! lol
I seem to have a past of everyone bein younger than me! :dry: when i say that i mean by a couple of years or maybe more! However i'm currently advoiding the situation as many people see it as very wrong
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thats the most recent 1 anyway
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I suppose just as long as people are careful and look after each other then its a good thing. However i feel that it can sometimes bring people down.
For the older person they might have that feeling that they are just not getting anywhere or they are hassled with this younger person being around (say for example a 17 and a 15 yr old, the 15yr old would be in school and the 17yr old could see them either immature or incapable of decision makings)
For the younger person they could take it too seriously and have far too much faith in this one person. And when they get a little older and start making decisions they could see, in their eyes, that the older person could have been/is much more successfull than they are now or will be. Finally young people (as in below 16) have far too much on their side e.g. law. But they don't seem to care about this because they know they will get away scott free in the end.
Sorry for babbling and i've had far too much experience on this matter to know what to think about it. I'm not saying that it is all bad, i've enjoyed all relationships i've had with people until the moment ended, but just that everyone should be careful about age gaps for younger people.
Hope all who is in relationships do well too :) 8)
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I am now in the opposite situation than I was when I started this topic ::)
I am now 23 and my bf is 19, I guess it's only 4 years and we haven't had any hassle about it (although I haven't met his mother yet :-\ )
I think the only thing that could get in the way is our different stages of readiness for commitment............
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Age does not matter.. Feelings do.. As long as u have the abilty 2 make the decision its no-one elses business
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Age does not matter.. Feelings do.. As long as u have the abilty 2 make the decision its no-one elses business
well that all depends on the law?
if hyperthetically..as an expmple only
sum1 aged say 30..went out with, and influenced a minor (in the eyes of the law thats <16(which i think is a lil stupid as ppl can make responsible decitions as an when they feel)) in sum way then that sum1 will be arrested even though they are in love.. :wub:
so the police dont care bout the emotional attachment between the 2 ppl.. >(
i kno thats a lil xtreem :o (but its only theoretical so i can say wot i need to get the point across)
if u get me? :dry:
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I have to say that i dont think that age should matter.
If poeple are happy then why worry about the age?
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the only time I don't like is when the difference is enough to be parental /grand parental figure. That's pretty eesh
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between me and my bf there is a 5 year gap... but it doesnt effect us at all
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There was a programme on te tv the other night and there was a guy who was 21 with a 49 year old and a 27 yr old who'd been married for 10 years and his wife was 59!
Fair enough they may have been happy together but crikey thats extreme!
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Barring some extremes, I have absolutely no problems with age gaps in relationships. I grew up with it- my parents are 14 years apart. I was born when my daddy was 50! Growing up it was no problem, but now that time has been passing its painful to watch my parent's age- specifically my dad. But that is part of life- my little sister and I just have to deal with it before most people our age.
Not only am I comfortable with age gaps, but I'm also involved in one. My sweetie is 13 years older than I am. Everyone we tell that to is a little taken aback (or more than a little- depends on the person) but once you get to know the two of us and see us together, it really really doesn't matter. My parents LOVE him and never questioned the age thing at all (where they really have no place to!) And his parents like me and were very cool with him bringing home someone my age! But I suppose when you're 33 it really isn't "bringing a girl home" anymore.
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I'm eighteen and my boyfriend is sixteen, two years isn't much but my god the stick I got from some people, including some I thought were friends, was horrible.
My true friends that knew both him and me knew we worked amazingly together and we still do, we're nearing a year together so I suppose it's proving everyone who doubted us wrong. :) We've been close mates for almost four years so it's not weird or uncomfortable, infact he's the only boyfriend i've had that I can truely be myself around.
I hate people who are ignorant to love. ::)
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Agreed agreed. I had a boyfriend two years under me while I was in school. Amazing what people said. Then my next bf was 7 years my senior. Same routine. What to people expect? You don't have to be EXACTLY THE SAME AGE to be compatable.
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Ah, but there's a difference between Age GAP and UNDER age.
An Age gap if you're old enough to consent to the relationship and know what you want is right, then thats fair enough. But there is NO cause for an adult to be having a sexual relationship with someone under 16. It's against the law, and in my opinion, people under 16 are still children. If I have a, say, 15 year old daughter, I'd hate it if I found out she had a boyfriend of, say, 19, I'd be horrified :O
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Yeah I agree Laury, when my boyfriend was still fifteen I was still seventeen so we were both technically children, but now he's sixteen people seem more approving of us.
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Exactly, it's just that transition from 'Child' to 'Adult' that needs to be taken into account :)
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Fair point. I didn't take that into account.
Another big thing to take into account with the age gap relationships the seriousness of them. While my relationships both had age gaps also, both parties knew it really wasn't going to last the test of time. (CERTAINLY not the second of the two. Good Lord, what was I thinking). My sweetie and I now are different- but circumstances being what the have been for me, I am quite a bit more grown up than most people my age. I Would shudder to think of some of my friends in a relationship of my calibur, simply because I don't think they would be prepared for it. (Hypocrite, ain't I?)
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No, thats not hypocritical. Every person matures at different ages. Y'know, a 17 year old my be ready for a serious relationship, but there may be another 17 year old that really isn't ready for it. So I think it is a personal thing, I just really think that anyone under 16 should steer clear of sexual relationships, have relationships by all means if thats right for you, but breaking the law is another thing :)
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Ah, but there's a difference between Age GAP and UNDER age.
An Age gap if you're old enough to consent to the relationship and know what you want is right, then thats fair enough. But there is NO cause for an adult to be having a sexual relationship with someone under 16. It's against the law, and in my opinion, people under 16 are still children. If I have a, say, 15 year old daughter, I'd hate it if I found out she had a boyfriend of, say, 19, I'd be horrified :O
*Cough* that was Daniel and my ages when we met...
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I was talking about age gap relationships with my mam earlier today.
The reason for it was because one of my mates (who I met on a night out) has admitted that
he likes me more than a friend. I'm now 19 and he's 25/26. As stupid as I sound, I was unsure
about what to do about it because he doesn't go out a great deal whilst I'm out every weekend.
I personally don't have a problem with age gap relationships. If two people have a rather significant
age gap and are willing to make the relationship work then I say go for it. If it's you personally then,
it's like: Woah..what do I do? The only problem I have with age gap relationships is like, in my situation
above for example, I'm young and want to go out every weekend and have fun whilst the 25/s6 year old
doesn't and is more of a 'stay at home' person. Or maybe I'm too self-centered for my own good LOL.
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Hum, interesting one.
I certainly agree with the point that you don't have to be exactly the same age to be compatable - infact, the one relationship where I was the same age as him, was all levels of awful.
Now, I grew up with elderly Grandparents, and was always reckoned to be above my real age - because I spent so much time in the company of "adults". With the result that my first bf was 3 years older than me, the 2nd was a the same age and a failure, the third was when I was 15, and he was 25... and the fourth was again about three years older than me. I then got together with my current partner, who is a year and a half older, we've been together five years and married for one.
But the 25 year old. When I was (just) 15. I have to say that had it come to it, I would have been quite happy to let that relationship develop into a full blown thing. Luckily he didn't like commitment. It's all very well saying that under 16 is under age; but I think you've got to take every case as an individual. Now, I would hate to think of my kid sister getting a 25 year old bf - but she has the mentality of a ten year old! When I was 15, I "hung" out with people in their 40s and up! MOstly with my bfs step mother and their friends! I wasn't excatly the average teen..
So yes, I think that in the right situation it works, and is ok. But each situation is thoroughly individual and unique. And in your case, tp, I'd only be worried in that, as you say, the two of you seem to lead very different lifestyles. Perhaps that would change if you did get together? And I certainly don't think you're self centered - make the most of your teens!
:)
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haha woah, I posted on page 6 of this thread when I was 18, I am 21 now! :8o
My view is still pretty much the same, It depends on who they are etc
I get unwanted attention from 16/17 year olds that stand no chance whatsoever because I am looking for someone more mature and very very few people that age actually are.
Plus I spend a lot of my time down the pub with mates so if she cant partake in that then she is a no-go as I aint gonna let my social life slip for a relationship
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Haha Kamui, you're over halfway to 40 now ;)
I'm almsot halfway to 40 (I'm 19 argh lol).
And yes Shedara you are right, I need a guy who has a similar lifestyle to me otherwise it won't work.
Again, you are right, it could change if I did get with him but I can't help but doubt that it will change.
Thanks anyway though hun.
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I once went out with this guy that was 10 years older then me.
At first the age gap didnt seem important at all, we were just so besotted about each other.
But after a while we started to notice theage gap more and more, just silly things like
I wanted to go out clubbing, he wanted to stay in with a take-out.
I was out with my friends alot - he got jelous.
I think that age gap does matter, but it shouldnt mean that you arn't ment to be, I know that if i would have done something about it sooner, like try to grow up a bit then we would still be together.
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I think that as long as both people are adults (18+) then there's nothing wrong with there being an age difference.. However, I don't think it's okay for a 30 yr old to date a 15 yr old.. That's sick because the 15 yr old is still a child, no matter how mature or developed they look or act..
There can be some obstacles that you all (as a couple) must overcome, but if you're committed and dedicated to each other than just about any couple can work..